Enneagram #1 The Reformer | Sandals Church

welcome welcome it’s good to be back with you guys super excited especially if you’re a visitor to Santos Church thank you so much for coming to our series called you this is a series about you even if you’ve never been in church in your life listen what I want you to know that Christianity is a relational movement in three directions upward towards God outward towards our neighbors and inward towards our souls Jesus says this the greatest commandment in all of the Bible is to love the Lord your God with all of your heart soul mind and strength and to love your neighbor wait for it as yourself look becoming a Christian isn’t just about getting to know God becoming a Christian is about getting to know yourself you ever wondered why does God love me why why did God send his son to die on the cross for me why do i matter so much to God you see the Bible isn’t all about God it’s all about God’s love for you for me for us and for a lot of us even those of us that call ourselves Christians it’s really really hard for us to say yeah God loves me I matter this is Who I am look for the next couple of weeks man I mean I don’t say this lightly I believe these sermons will change your life change your marriage change the way you see your kids change the way you see your spouse some of you might like your spouse again after this series feel free to laugh unless they’re sitting next to you because you might not be invited back next week you know for some of you it’s going to give you grace to finally get along with that person at work that instead of loving you’ve been judging for you to have a little sympathy for people who maybe raise their kids a little bit differently from you I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’re different have you noticed that like we come from different ethnicities we come from different socioeconomic backgrounds we have different genders like we come from different worlds even if you were raised in the same home anybody ever look at your brother your sister and go where were you raised like I’ll listen to my brother talk about our childhood and I’ll be like I I don’t know where that was we see things differently and in this series we’re going to talk about three things how do you how do you perceive the not everybody sees the world the same way you do if you’re married give me an amen right two different eyes looking at the same thing but you see it differently we perceive the world differently and then we process what we perceive very differently here’s what I thought I saw and here’s how that makes me feel and then we present ourselves in a certain way so this is a series called you it’s about you God loves you God sent his son to die for you on the cross God cares about you and God wants to transform and change you he wants to enhance the beauty that’s in you and he wants to begin to heal the brokenness that’s in all of us I don’t have you noticed but we’re broken the world is broken right even as we speak once again nations are at each other’s throats the Cold War we thought was gone is seems to be coming back and and they’re our threats being literally shared back and forth between between nations the world’s broken and we need to be healed but for that to happen the world doesn’t need to heal you and I need to heal and then we can take that piece that’s inside of us and we can begin to share it and so I just want you to know that about 15 years ago I encountered this thing called the inia Graham for some of you don’t know what it is it’s simply a tool and let me say this it’s the best tool I’ve ever found to begin the process of being real with yourself our vision at Santos Church is to be real with yourself so you say that great that’s a great vision how do I do that this is the best tool I’ve found to help you in that process it’s helped me understand my wife it’s helped me understand me it’s helped me to understand my kids it’s helped me to understand some of you because for some of you I was praying God would lead you somewhere else right it’s not always just people that want to change churches sometimes pastors are hoping people will be led by the spirit somewhere else but it’s helped me to understand people and and and it’s that first step into understanding ourselves so I just want to begin with the word of Prayer I want everybody to relax I want you to know that everything we’re gonna do in this series is out of the Bible but what we’re gonna do is we’re gonna use this tool to help God begin to teach you about yourself because not all of you have the same strengths and not all of you have the same weaknesses we’re all sinners but we sin in very different ways so let’s bow our heads and let’s pray together and ask God to just really speak to us in this series Heavenly Father I just pray in Jesus name through the power of your Holy Spirit God that you would connect us to ourselves in a way that you see us in the truth that you see in the light that only you can see God wrap your arms around us and show what’s beautiful about us and God in a way that only you can show us what’s broken and help us to give grace for ourselves in the same way that you do so father bless this series we pray in Jesus name Amen all right a series called you we’re gonna start with the personality type that I called a reformer I want you to know this is not me this is also called the good person this is not me that’s not who I grow up I did not grow up this way I’ve been broken since the day I was born the reformer is the person who’s who see it ceased how things could be you can write this down they’re there they’re kind of a perfectionist I haven’t zero perfectionist in me right my wife has a lot of one in her this is who she is always wants to make sure she looks good I just assume I am good let’s just roll I’ll look good this is what you get let’s go okay I don’t change outfits any time I got one outfit let’s get out the door the reformer wants things to be perfect wants to be good wants the world to be a better place and so they see flaws they see how things could be different and so we’re gonna start off with an amazing story from Jesus and I think a lot of you missed this even if you know this story a lot of you fail to recognize this now you don’t have the senior but I’m gonna start in Luke this is where the story starts and Jesus says to illustrate the point further Jesus told him a story listen to me some of you’ve never paid attention to this here’s the story and how it begins jesus says a man had two sons how sad is it for two thousand years we’ve called this story the prodigal son it’s not a story about one kid it’s a story about two and so here’s what’s amazing is the one son who screws up gets his life right and has a right relationship with God in the story we focus all the attention on that and not on the other son it’s a story about two kids listen to me parents your kids are gonna be different you have to treat them different you have to love them different you have to approach them differently right I mean some of you as parents you like how on earth did you come from the same household each one of them comes out so radically different even if your biological twins you can be very very different so Jesus tells us this story a man had two sons the younger son told his father this is offensive he says I want you to share your estate with me now before you die so when do you get the inheritance from your parents when they die it’s a little inappropriate it’s a dad you’re kind of lasting a little longer then I I thought you would and I want my money so give me my money so the younger son wants his money what’s amazing is the father agrees and so he divides his wealth between his two sons now here’s how it went in the ancient world the oldest son got two-thirds of the estate and the younger son would get one-third unless there are sisters if there are sisters involved each sister gets a dowry and so she gets money set aside to make you know her more appealing for marriage so the young guys his his inheritance is gonna be chopped up based upon first of all he loses the two thirds from the older brother then he gets his one-third subtract any sisters that he has we don’t know about any sisters and remember it’s a made-up story so just remember that people always get a little crazy Jesus is telling a story to prove a very real point so what happens this guy goes off any parties he gets all of his money gets the stuff from his dad he goes off he has wild living he loses all of his money everything goes crazy right and that’s often what happens when young people gain wealth too soon they didn’t earn it they don’t know how to handle it and so his life begins to fall apart here’s where the story picks up in your outline when he finally came to his senses he finally comes to his senses and he says to himself at home even the hired servants have food enough to spare and Here I am dying he begins to become real with himself I’ve made a mistake anybody ever been there this is not working out well people always ask me why do you follow God I said well I tried following myself I did that I was really good at it didn’t have good outcomes when I was good at following myself my desires my hearts he says at home even the hired servants have food enough to spare it’s always amazing how lame your kids think you are until they get out on their own there’s an amazing how smart or smarter your parents are once you start paying bills all of a sudden you’re the light not see turn that off turn that off turn that off I don’t care if it’s a hundred ten inside we can sweat it out he says I know I’ll go home and I’ll say to my father I have sinned against both you and heaven I’m no longer worthy to be called your son he says please take me on as a hired servant think about this he’s thought about his apology before he comes home this kid’s serious so he returned home to his father and while he was still a long way off his father saw him coming filled with love and compassion he ran to his son he embraced him and he kissed him his son said to him father I’ve sinned against both heaven and you and I am no longer worthy to be called your son I want you to notice here the father stops him he doesn’t make him run through the whole speech again but his father said to his servants quick bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet I want you to know that this is not the Roby left this is the robe reserved for visiting royalty and wealthy guests this is the best piece of clothing the household has get me the finest robe and he says give me a ring for his finger remember he said I’m not worthy to be called your son I want you to think about if you’re married when you got married you put a ring on a finger and you said with this ring I thee Wed the ring symbolizes the permanence of family you’re not a slave you’re my what you’re my son and then in the ancient world one of the ways that you could tell a slave from a son was shoes put sandals on his feet he’s not my slave he’s my son and killed the calf we’ve been fattening apparently they thought there was gonna be a party but here it is we must celebrate with a feast for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life think about that I thought this son was gone man this weekend this excuse me now this week in this last week Tammy and I were invited to the white house which is a whole story I’ll share probably over the next couple of weeks well we got to be a part of a debrief where we sat with president Trump’s staff and they just begin to talk about some of the issues that religious people are facing around the world and here we are sitting in the White House with this briefing and one of Donald Trump’s court cabinet members as she begins to share this is what she says she says before I began to tell with you about the things that are going on in the world can I ask for prayer Warner Trump’s cabinet members and this is what she shared she said my daughter’s missing here she is in one of the most powerful positions in the world she can’t find her own kid she said would you guys please pray for me and then she got a little uneasy and she said are there any press in here and no let’s pray and we did right there and that interesting no matter how powerful you are no matter what your position is when you’re missing a kid life isn’t right nothing’s right would you pray for me that’s how this dad feels in this story it doesn’t matter how successful he’s been it doesn’t matter how how how blessed he’s become he’s missing a kid and he thought the kid was dead but he’s alive he thought the kid was gone forever but he’s home and now it’s time to party because the son I thought I lost and yeah he’s an idiot but he’s my idiot he’s found and so the party began meanwhile how many sons were there two we got two boys moms dads we got two sons we got an idiot and we got the kid everybody wants we got the kid that does the right thing we got the kid that does well in school we got the kid my son is an outstanding student at boom my parents never got that sticker my parents never shared stories about where Matt was gonna go to college they’re like we don’t know we don’t know I found out the day of graduation in high school I was graduating yes here’s your robe all right meanwhile the older son underlined us where is he where is he doing what he’s supposed to be doing why that’s what we reformers do they get crapped on thank God for him let me just say this for everybody wants to be critical of good people without them there’s no Church you know why they serve do you know why they tithe do you know why they’re here some of you were praying every single weekend I don’t know if we’re gonna go to church this weekend I got to feel it I got to get in my yoga position man ones are here boom it’s the Lord’s Day we’re in church thank God for these people they pay for these buildings you’re sitting in they pay my salary so you can hear this truth a lot of you are the idiots out with the pigs coming in to church old man tells rough weekend you know our ones they’re not in Coachella they’re not no they’re here your way for the sevens they’re in Coachella they’ll come back they’re gonna come back he’s in the field work he’s getting stuff done can you imagine everybody wants be critical oh you’re such a good person if we didn’t have good people can you imagine what the world would be like what if everybody just drove on the highway like you did you know what I saw this week on the 91 freeway I saw someone flip around accidentally without hitting anyone and go the wrong direction on the 91 freeway I don’t even know how is possible why are you doing in your car ones are driving they’re not on their phone they’re not texting they’re praying for your soul cause you’re going to hell and they know it they’re good people they get stuff done you know how we love to hire it sound search ones cuz they work they get stuff done so where is he he’s in the field working when he returned home no I know my brother’s home why I could hear Coachella I can hear it he heard the music and the dancing in the house oh man the father thought he was dead the good son is probably hoping right jeez my little brother’s an idiot not mine this guy’s a lot my brother you heard music and dancing in the house and he asked one of his servants what’s going on your brother his back your father killed a cow that’s a party somebody’s alive someone must die the cow we are celebrating because of his safe return underline this and the older brother wouldn’t what go in why it’s not fair it’s not fair listen to me ones life’s not fair it’s not fair quit keeping score quick keeping score right ones are monitoring their like the world’s referees foul foul my wife has a lot of one we’re in line to the airport someone’s cutting foul TSA taser that rule breaker you know I told her it see me okay babe we’re gonna make it we’re gonna we’re gonna make it okay we’re gonna be okay yeah but he’s he’s cutting it’s okay babe it’s okay right it’s not fair it’s not fair you know if you have a child it’s a one when you pour cereal before they eat the first thing they do is evaluate okay I can eat it now because the portions are equal right it doesn’t matter if the one is the smallest child so I get 30 pounds your brother there’s 180 the cereal bowl should be fair the older brother was angry and he wouldn’t go in his father came out underlined us and begged him come on son he says all these years I’ve slaved for you I’ve never once refused to do a single thing you’ve told me I do everything right and thank God for you someone has to pay their taxes right ones they pay their taxes on time and they don’t cheat thank God for you we love you he says in all that time you never gave me even a young coke you killed the cow for the idiot kid I don’t even get a goat for a feast with my friends yet with this son of yours notice what he says not my brother when the son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes hmm how do you know that no it’s interesting little addition to this story you celebrating by killing the fatted calf not the skinny calf fine kill the skinny cow big it’s the fat cow his father said to him look dear son you have always stayed by me listen to me once God sees what you do and you will be rewarded you will be rewarded and one day God will measure out in proportion to how you served but today’s not that day today’s about your brother was dead and now he’s alive and that’s something to celebrate look dear son you’ve always stayed with me everything I have is yours do you know that that’s actually true because the story began with the father what divided his assets he’s actually taking the fatted calf from the oldest son it’s his cow and he’s giving it to the idiot son and what does that feel like one’s stealing stealing we divided the estate idiot jr.

Blew all his money I’ve invested it that’s why the cow is fat dad he said you’ve always stayed with me and everything I have is yours we had to celebrate this happy day for your brother was dead and has come back to life he was lost but now he is what out he’s found listen to me once the first thing I want to challenge you is to praise God that God made you one did he put that in you that he gave you a desire you were born from the moment you came out the shoot you were born with a desire to do what’s right and that’s beautiful it’s beautiful the reformer write this down the reformer of Frette reflects God’s goodness do we need more goodness in the world yes do we need any more prodigal sons no we’re good we’re good right do we need to lose any more children no we need to praise God for these good kids that reflect the goodness of God they care about what’s right they care about what’s true they reflect the goodness of God this is how you reflect your maker first Peter says this but you are not like that for your chosen people you are royal priests you’re a holy nation you’re God’s very own possession as a result underline this you can show the others the goodness of God listen to me once this is what you do you show people there is good in the world you do what’s right even when you don’t feel like it praise God for you praise God for you I praise God for you I love you there’s no sandals Church without you there’s no Kingdom without you you serve you give you tie you show up you build you do the right thing when everybody else is doing a stupid thing thank God for you you’re God’s possession and as a result you can show others the goodness of God but underline this he’s called you out of darkness so if you’re the good person if you’re the perfect person what’s your darkness that God’s calling you out none of us is perfect even if we strive for perfection so if you’re a good person let me ask you this question what your sin this is what’s so tragic especially if you grew up in the church if you’re a one you don’t have a good testimony you don’t your testimony is lame you don’t have a you know Vegas heroin and prostitutes story you just don’t like one time I drank a Diet Pepsi and had a crazy headache and you know I just I just never I’m gonna do Splenda again that’s my story and it’s tragic right it’s tragic that in the church that we’ve we’ve drummed up the prodigal sons stories and we fail to understand that both sons need the gospel for different reasons both sons were lost one son was an idiot but the other was judgmental and listen to me if you’re a one I don’t believe this story was ever about the prodigal son do you know why I don’t believe that because his whole life is fixed we know everything that happened to him do you know how it ends with the good son we don’t know do you know why I believe that because this is a made-up son Jesus isn’t talking about this boy he’s talking about you and here’s his question reformer can you trust me can you trust that I’ll be good to you like I am to these idiots that come to me can you trust me that I’m gonna reward you for your faithfulness you see here’s how Satan tempts you reformers is God really good is the father in the story really good is what he is what he’s doing really wise because here’s here’s here’s the point if you’re a 1 not only does the son think his brother’s an idiot he thinks his father might be one too and that’s sim he’s called you out of darkness and into his wonderful light so what’s the motivation what’s the core motivation if you’re a one to do what is good and right what’s the right thing to do you asked this before you ask what do I want to do most of us we say well I’m gonna do whatever feels good not ones well we’ll get to feelings later we’re gonna do what’s right we’re gonna make sure everybody’s in their appropriate box we’re gonna make sure everything’s in line everything’s got to be good and right what’s the core need of the one write this down to be perfect good luck with that good luck with that what does the one have to avoid at all costs criticism here’s the thing if you’re a one do you know who you’re the most critical of yourself yourself you have the least amount of grace for yourself ones can be very very critical to their children to their spouses to their friends they can be very very critical to their employers or their employees write this down this is what ones do they should all over themselves and others but sounded like a cust I almost did they should you should you should you should you should you should all over yourself and everyone else you need to stop shooting on everybody see does none of those are ones laughing right now ones are like I don’t know what does the one focus on flaws some of you’re like I can’t believe you said it should I can’t believe he’s he’s wearing army pants that’s inappropriate for church I don’t I don’t know why he’s doing that listen to me ones all you see is your flaws my wife’s are one or at least has a lot of one in her she cut her hair this week she says do you like my hair I said I like you we’re good we’re good hair no hair I prefer hair but you know we’re good you know I like I like you I like you short blonde whatever it gray right we’re getting older it’s good I mean it for the long haul I like you because what my wife tends to see is how beautiful she’s not and what she needs to be reminded of is how beautiful she is right that that’s that’s what we have to do for once they don’t give themselves or anyone else any grace they focus on their flaws and guess what that does it creates a course in called write this down anger what is the older brothers response to the party he was angry and he refused to go in your brother’s alive how does that make you feel that ticks me off if life was fair he’d be dead and here’s the thing your core fear if you’re a one is being flawed and guess what you are you are so your nightmare is like every day over and over and over again you’re not perfect you will never be perfect and the harder you try the worse you’re gonna get so let’s talk about some biblical truths to pursue now let me give you the ones favorite Bible verse and then let me just shatter it here’s the ones favorite bible verse it’s not in your notes Matthew but you were to be perfect even as your father in heaven is perfect do you know why we have that in our Bibles because of a Catholic priest named Jerome do you know what Jerome’s problem was he fell in love with a nun some smoking-hot nun in Rome and it was affecting his holy life and so he confessed it to his bishop and his bishop said as penance if you don’t know what that is it’s a Catholic word for like repenting as penance this is what his bishop said you will go to Bethlehem and learn Hebrew that’s the worst thing that you can do and so Jerome did he went to Bethlehem to the place where they believed Jesus was born and he buried himself in a cave and he learned Hebrew and he translated the Hebrew Scriptures into Latin and when he came to this Greek word Telos he translated it be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect and listen to me every translation is built upon a previous translation they’re all influenced by them and so literally for 1700 years we go all the way back to Jerome who said be perfect as your heavenly father is imperfect the problem is chaos doesn’t mean perfect it means whole complete that’s what it means it doesn’t mean bake the perfect pie ones it means make sure you have all the slices that’s what it means be complete as God is complete and what you’re missing is God you’re missing God so here’s a biblical truth for you to pursue quit don’t make Matthew your favorite verse I’m gonna submit Ephesians and don’t let sin control you by letting your anger control you don’t sin by letting anger control you don’t let the Sun go down while you’re still angry and some of you’re like well then I would never sleep I’m a 1 that’s how I go to sleep at night as I count all the sins of my spouse I don’t count sheep I count sin 1 2 3 4 don’t listen nobody’s perfect why do you think the older brothers younger brother is an idiot in the story because we’re all idiots compared to you once all of us we’re out partying you’re just righteous I mean Jesus is a genius he knows exactly what ticks you off idiots idiots blowing their life screwing their life up in God I know you have a list in heaven but we will compare notes when I get there and we will make sure that every every sin is accounted for here’s the problem when you focus on the sins of others that makes you angry and when you allow anger in your life it gives the devil permission in your life and that’s not even close to perfection that’s evil don’t sin by letting anger control you look you can be angry but don’t let it get ahold of you don’t let it destroy you ones pursuit of perfection can destroy their marriage you can want a perfect marriage and end it you can want perfect children and ruin them you can learn to relax sometimes just go in the cabinet and move the beans to the like you know over to the rice and just like get crazy put a chocolate bar you know over by the crackers sits a party in my house you know just embrace life embrace it because your desire for perfection will run you it will destroy you it will wreck you your kids will never be perfect do you know why they’re being raised by you okay your company your clothes your church will never be perfect we’re gonna screw it up we’re gonna mess it up there’s a bloody gross cross with a dead Jesus on it that says nobody’s perfect nobody’s perfect that’s why we’re Christians don’t let sin control you don’t let anger control you don’t let the Sun go down while you’re still angry listen to me once this is your confession every night before you go to bed god help me homie to forgive this imperfect world that’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair but listen to me God is good you see ones here’s the question for you as the good son do you trust your father who knows best you are dad that’s the story well you’re a 1 so you know what’s best and God would do well to listen to your wisdom well let me ask you this once who gave you your wisdom God did trust him trust him here’s a verse for how you relate to others make an allowance for other people’s faults you’re gonna have an Idiot Brother you might marry an idiot yeah my wife’s prayed this many times Lord she did not marry one she did not she married the prodigal son she did she’s trapped herself to an idiot forever making allowance for each other’s faults that’s why I’m a professional apologizer you know what the hardest thing for one to do say I’m sorry because that means you have to admit you were wrong what happened you’re human right one time I said to my wife and I don’t recommend this I said just say it just say it she’s like what you’re wrong just I’ll help you I say it all the time I’m wrong I screwed up I’m sorry does that feel good it’s empowering not for a one make it allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you once our professional offenders on offenders offense that get offended that offends me that is offensive you’re the offensive police there’s defensive and offensive and you’re the offensive that’s offensive why why ones do you need to learn to forgive people because the Lord Jesus forgave you for what your sin and what’s your sin it’s self-righteousness self-righteousness is believing that you are right within yourself righteousness comes from God only God is truly right only God is truly good so it’s okay for you to make a mistake it’s okay for you to screw it up it’s okay for you to temesta it’s okay we have a wonderful Savior and a wonderful God that can forgive us and hopefully there are Christians in your life that can extend grace to you but a once greatest fear is that someone’s going to treat them the way they treat themselves it’s okay once we know you’re better than us but you’re not perfect we praise God for how awesome you are yeah you but you’re still a sinner and you’re still gonna blow it and you know what that means you can do your very best and still have a screwed up marriage you can do your very best and still struggle at work struggle in friendships and struggling relationships sometimes your best isn’t good enough so you know what you need grace you can have good intentions and still sin see what one’s will do instead of saying I’m sorry is they’ll say this well what I meant to do I didn’t mean to slay your heart what I meant to do was to say wouldn’t you look better in a different outfit right when you look at your kid and you see seven A’s and all you talk about is the b-minus that’s the one in you so one in you don’t try to make your kids be something you can’t be yourself make an allowance for each other’s faults everyone that drives is an idiot and so are you right I always you can always identify ones on the freeway they’re going and I’m just like you want to see something funny put a one in the passenger seat man I don’t if I didn’t have to keep all my attention on the road do not kill my family I would just watch my wife while I Drive she does the brake thing it doesn’t work ever but she right man sorry she’s gonna kill me all right okay Bible verse for your relationship with God Jesus is this why do you call me good Jesus asked underlying these words once only God is good only God is good and if you grew up in the church you say God is good you say all the time only good only God is good all the time once you’re good most of the time most of the time Psalms 86 15 but you O Lord are a God of compassion and mercy slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness listen to me once isn’t it good to know that God is faithful to us when we screw up that God can enter into a beautiful wonderful relationship with us that is perfect because of Christ even when we are imperfect your core sin is anger you have to pursue grace grace and think about this how does God how does God deal with his anger for sinners he poured grace over us on the cross how do you deal with your anger you ask God to give you grace for self and for others and listen to me ones in your darkest moments you’re going to accuse God of not being good in your lowest darkest moments because life does not always make sense but here’s the difference ones we see rules Jesus sees Souls do you see the difference his two games ones are playing prefer perfection Jesus is trying to save souls and my idiot son who was dead has been found and so we’re gonna celebrate that God’s inviting you to celebrate and listen to me once listen to me he’s inviting you to the party your anger will keep you from the party he’s inviting you he’s begging you please come to the party I want to challenge you to pray this prayer this week I wrote this for you if you identify with the one the reformer it says god help me not to seek perfection but to seek you see that’s completeness that’s being whole it’s not just about getting life right it’s about getting God help me to see others the way you see them not as perfect but as perfectly loved as perfectly loved listen to me reformers that’s how God loves you perfectly perfectly and he’s inviting you to love others in the same way let’s pray Heavenly Father I pray that we would all God find grace for ourselves God right now I know the ones are just spinning with criticism for their self and so god I just speak to the enemy right now and I pray that you would block that and that you would just reassure them God that they’re the best amongst us the most moral the most right and the most pure but there’s still sinners God and they need grace just like all of us God helped them to know that they reflect your goodness but God like all of us they need your mercy I pray in the name of Jesus they would find the mercy they need at the cross I pray this in Jesus name Amen

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