Enneagram #2 The Helper | Sandals Church

good morning sounds Church man I’m so glad you guys are here especially those of you who are here today to be baptized we love you and preciate you listen if you’re new to sandals Church 20 years ago God gave me a vision now here’s the thing about when God gives you a vision just because he gives you the vision doesn’t mean he supplies you with the details God gives us a vision and he calls us to walk in obedience and he gives us the details along the way 20 years ago God laid on my heart that I needed to start a church whose vision was to be real a place where you could talk about anything and everything and still be loved and so I walked in obedience and started that church but I began to ask God this question God you’ve called me to tell people to be real but I don’t know how to be real I don’t know how to be real myself I don’t know how to be real with others I’m struggling God to be real with you and then I came across this thing called the Enneagram it’s two greek words any of the number-9 and graham think about like telegram or Instagram written down those two words 9 points on a piece of paper that describe people a bunch of Catholic priests got together and they started looking at people and they looking at sins and looking at our beauty and our brokenness and they came up with a system of understanding people and it’s a beautiful thing and this is why the India Graham doesn’t just tell you what you are but it helps you identify why you do what you do the ideogram gets that motivation and if you have kids you want to learn how to parent your kids figure out how to motivate them and so Tammy and I we got married and right anybody get married opposites attract amen so it feels like soulmates and then it becomes cellmates right you’re like man we are trapped in here forever and and my wife man she’s got some things that are very different about her that are very different from me and we struggled and the intagram has helped us to learn to appreciate each other’s beauty and to be able to understand each other’s brokenness and here’s my prayer for you this series is called you God loves you and God cares for you and one of the things he wants to teach you is not just about him but about yourself so let’s begin with the word of Prayer and ask God to bless us today that you would do some work on you today let’s pray Heavenly Father join us today god we invite you to invite us to look at ourselves God you’ve created us you designed us you said in your word that before our mothers even held us you knew us that you intimately wired us and designed us for a reason and for a purpose god I pray that we would embrace that today and begin to understand ourselves we pray this in Jesus name Amen now last week we talked about the one the reformer the person who sees the world the way it should be they make the world a better place they constantly are improving that’s the beauty of the one the negative of the one is if they’re not careful they can just become critical and negative and tell everybody what’s wrong this week we’re shifting to the two this one’s called the helper we love these people why they help us they serve they’re always at the PTA they’re Girl Scouts Boy Scouts Church man they serve men if you’re if you’re moving the to show up nobody else does all the to show up to help you to come alongside and help serve you this is who they are thank God for the twos there’s no church without the twos the twos are serving so you can sit in here okay so thank God for them and just say thank you so much for serving at Sandals Church they work in the parking lot you’re ticked off you couldn’t find a space the twos are helping you find a space so that you can maybe get saved and go to heaven so thank them thank them for what they do so we’re gonna look at a two in the Bible today and her name is Martha last weekend we picked on the boys two sons this week ladies it’s going to be dished in your direction so just embrace I’m not always picking on ladies but this week it’s you okay so as Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem they came to a certain village where a woman whoa named Martha a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home thank God for Martha she had room for Jesus some of you have no room for Jesus in your home or in your hearts Martha has room for Jesus in her home so she welcomes Jesus over her sister Mary and let me just say this if you’re raising kids and you’re raising boys praise God you know when they don’t like each other right somebody’s bleeding something’s broken like someone may be going to jail that’s what happens when you raise boys when you raise girls it’s like North Korea you never know when the nuke is coming but there but there ready they’re ready to kill us all so when you’re raising girls just know this last weekend we talked about the boys prodigal son of the good son this week we got two sisters and they hate each other okay so we got Martha who welcomed Jesus into her home her sister Mary the skinny cute one it doesn’t say that in the text I’m just reading that in there right Mary sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he taught now some of you that’s not a big deal okay listen to me if you’re a woman you want to know where you went to school two thousand years ago University of nowhere that’s where you went to school you can get it as a joke you didn’t go to school you weren’t you 2000 years ago you didn’t have legal rights your testimony was not valid in a court of law you were seen as a second-class citizen and all of your identity was wrapped up in your father your husband or your brother women were not allowed to learn look at Jesus Jesus teaches women he accepts them and allows them to sit right next to the boys and he begins to teach them so Mary is taking advantage of this opportunity so she sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he taught but Martha there’s big but there remember big butts don’t lie write it down but Martha Martha she was distracted listen to me toos you’re wonderful you’re beautiful you’re amazing you serve us you help us you’re distracted by what pastor many things read the text many things oftentimes you get so wrapped up in the details you get so wrapped up in helping you miss opportunities but Martha was distracted by the big dinner now let’s get Martha some grace how many of you would be a little nervous if Jesus was eating at your house today raise your hands okay everyone hands not up you’re a three you’re a liar we’re gonna talk to you next week if you’re not nervous that Jesus is coming over to your house let me tell you something your crock-pot ain’t good enough for Jesus you better get home right now and start working can you imagine how stressed out you would be if the Lord Jesus Christ Himself was coming over to your house to enjoy your mom’s recipe whoa like you’re gonna be uptight so Martha is distracted by the big dinner she was preparing why God’s here I’m feeding God what are you doing today I’m feeding God so she came to Jesus and said anybody detect a little unhealthy one here Lord it doesn’t seem fair right remember ones last week your our referees you make sure everybody’s doing it correctly right call a foul pan got to make sure everybody’s right otherwise the whole world unravels she says doesn’t it seem unfair that my sister listen to what she says just sits it’s just was just sitting I’m over here working I’m over here slaving the skinny one she’s she’s just sitting no I’m adding in there’s nothing about waiters I’m just saying what girls are critical of each other right she’s a she just sits there why do all the work as always happens this is mom and dad started this there’s been the problem our whole relationship I do everything Mary gets all the credit I do all the work that’s not in there I’m just adding a little bit it’s interesting underlying this because we’re gonna get into the course sin of the – tell her you’re the Lord you’re in charge of everything but I have a suggestion your lordship I know that you’re busy running the universe and making the Sun right now warm our earth making trees grow however I have noticed something that maybe could use your attention tell her to come here and what help me everybody should be serving everybody shouldn’t be helping and that’s the way to see the world we should all be working we should all be volunteers we should all be soccer moms and soccer dads and baseball dads and baseball moms we should all be an adventure team we should all be in the parking lot no one should Park everyone should be on the parking lot team no one Park everyone get a vest tell her her to come here and help me but the Lord said to her this is how Jesus tells you off My dear Martha you feel that Martha Martha Martha Martha you are worried and upset over all these details I don’t know if you said this but you are aware that I can fast for 40 days Satan knows I can turn stones to bread I’m pretty sure I can handle the crockpot maybe an hour late dear Martha you are worried and upset over all these details there is only one thing worth being concerned about listen to me toos how sad would it be if Jesus came over to your house and you missed spending time with him you see twos you can get so wrapped up in preparing Christmas dinner that you miss enjoying your family at Christmas for a – it’s easy to serve it’s easy to do dishes it’s easy to clean the house it’s easy to prepare it’s hard to actually sit and spend time with people and God my dear Martha you are worried and upset over all these details there’s only one thing worth being concerned about and Mary has discovered it and it will not be taken away from her Mary a woman is invited to sit at my feet and learn and hear everything that I have to say listen me too is the most important thing that was happening at Martha’s house that day was not the food that she was preparing but the food Jesus was serving his word his word and twos can miss this let me say this to you if you’re – I praise God you’re in here if you’re – you’re in here praise God that’s a miracle right there because you know what twos do they don’t go to church but they do serve at church twos will serve at the eight a.m.

Service the 10 a.m. service and the service and they will do that every single weekend for the entire year and never once make it into the worship center listenmi twos it’s easy for you to serve a church it’s hard for you to actually go to church we’re going to talk about why so let’s talk about the helper who is the helper the helper reflects God’s heart for service it’s good to serve we need service we need people who work we need people who volunteer if our church doesn’t have volunteers we shut down in one weekend one weekend you know why churches have to hire people to do things because we don’t have twos people aren’t serving people aren’t helping listen the two reflects God’s heart for service when I first became a Christian this is the first Bible verse I memorized I never forgot it it’s the first verse i memorize when i became a christian in college for even the Son of man came not to be served but to serve and give his life as ransom for many how can you worship a servant and not serve and you know why that is listen to me church we abuse twos we take advantage of them we let them do everything and we do nothing when I was a little kid I used to go to my grandma grandpa’s house my grandpa was Italian different time different place but when my grandpa’s coffee cup would get empty he would just take his fingers on the dining room table and he would just do this my grandma would come over get his cup filled with coffee come back and it was empty here due to your skin so I got married my coffee cup was empty Tammy was like what’s wrong with your fingers we got a twitch okay my grandma was at right grandma was it too she just walked around making sure you did you eat are you hungry hungry gggg let me wipe your butt wipe your nose what I need to wipe what you need a bath you just go to Grandma’s house you were clean that’s how she loved she loved to serve right but let me tell you something some of you were gonna take this test you go you know what I don’t how many – I don’t know me – I’m not gonna help around the house mmm there’s there’s a word for that gentleman divorced that’s what that word is you pray about that listen to me I do not do the dishes at my house because I love doing the dishes I do the dishes at my house because I love my wife I don’t let my kids and I want to stay married that’s why that’s why I do it I don’t love taking out the trash because I enjoy the smell of rotting food I don’t know about your house but we don’t take the trash out until you cannot get the bag out of the dispenser that’s when we know it’s time yeah sure yeah it will come out that’s when you know you got to change it is anybody’s kids do this my kids will come and see the full trash can and just set trash on top like we’re building a snow cone thank you for doing that and sorry I’m airing my grievances what is the core motivation of the two you got to understand the two the core motivation of the two is to feel loved and they feel loved when they feel useful so don’t tell it to to stop serving you let them serve you but don’t let them be abused by you see if twos are not careful they can become codependent because they find their identity in serving and they lose who they are so listen to me if you’re a two and you’re a mom you’ve got to prepare yourself for one day your kids are gonna move out and you know what happens if you’re a two and your mom and that happens your life is over you don’t know who you are because your identity is wrapped up in what you do guys men listen to me if you’re a – there’s a day when you’re gonna have to retire they’re gonna make you go home and stay do you know what happens ladies if you’re married to a two and he retires he doesn’t know who he is anymore he’s lost his identity because who he is is wrapped up in what he does listen to me toos your identity cannot be wrapped up in what you do but it needs to be wrapped up in who you are and you were a son or a daughter of the king that’s who you are that’s who you are you’re a child of God so their motivation is to feel loved but the inner need write this down the inner need this is what’s driving them this is what’s fueling them they need to be needed they need to be needed one of my kids has a lot of two in them she said to me she said dad I just don’t feel like you need me I said I don’t right is anybody like man I need some more teenagers around you night I just were running a little short I said I don’t need you baby girl I said but I love you I love you dude I got news for you guys did you know God doesn’t need you God’s not up in heaven oh my gosh what am I gonna do I know I’ll create people that hate me listen me God doesn’t need you but he loves you true love is not codependent it’s not I told her I love you I love you I care for you I want to be in relationship with you but they need to be needed what’s my role what’s my purpose if I’m not a wife who am i if I’m not a husband who am i if I don’t have kids who am i if I don’t have grandkids what does that say about me if I can’t walk around constantly helping and serving people then I don’t know who I am listen to me toos it’s okay to love serving but you need to know you’re more than that God didn’t just create you for service he actually created you listen Martha’s for a relationship and mary has chosen the right thing so put down the crock-pot and come sit at the table and learn and learn you’re invited here’s how you know the twos in your small group as soon as that the sharing gets deep they go to the dishes we’re gonna go clean twos love to serve for a to the safest part of the party is preparing and cleaning everything in between is terrifying because there’s nothing to do and it’s really awkward if you just go up and start wiping people right you can’t do that that’s why twos really struggle when your kids don’t need you as much I actually look forward to that point but for two is it’s scary you don’t need me no mom I’m 40 good it’s okay so what’s their focus here’s how to’s get lost they’re so focused on the needs of others now thank God for the twos because without the twos we would completely ignore everybody two’s C needs they see the needs of others they care they run in to help look when you’re moving you know who’s shown up the twos none of your other friends are showing up a guy I got but my back to xur like hey I’m there what do you need how can I help what’s going on when you got cancer a twos are there how can I help you how can I serve you right cuz when it gets uncomfortable for the rest of us the twos feel very safe there beautiful wonderful amazing people I know when my wife’s dad was dying of cancer all the twos are all around because cancer in the ends really ugly it’s really ugly and you have to relate to people who can’t control their bodily functions the way that they used to you know twos don’t care they love you they’re great they reflect the heart of God God still loves you even when you stink this is come here right but here’s the thing what’s the course in of the two and this is let me tell you if you’re two your sin is the hardest sin to identify of any of the personality types like if you’re a one we know when you’re angry even if you don’t know we know I’m not ticked why does everyone think I’m angry I don’t know shocker to me here’s the hardest sin to detect it’s a sin of pride but listen to me pride is what made the devil who he is and you’re not called to be like the devil you’re called to be like Christ pride is the one sin that the Bible says God always opposes if you are wrestling with pride you are wrestling with God and you will lose you say well but I just want to help people so did Martha but here’s how her pride got the best of her she thought she knew better than Jesus did what Mary needed to be doing think about that twos I know you’re omniscient all-knowing all-powerful Almighty but I’m a – and I’m really concerned about what you’re letting Mary get away with listen do you remember what what she what she said Lord Jesus you you need to tell Mary right I know there’s ten commandments Lord but we need five for Mary and here’s the first one get off your butt go ahead Lord you’re in charge Martha Martha Martha the course in his pride here’s what they avoid at all costs their own needs do you know what Martha needed the Lord she needed the Lord can you imagine twos Jesus Christ Himself comes to your house and you don’t spend any time with him how sad is that Jesus Christ comes to your house and you don’t spend any time with him that’s what Martha did Martha thought the dishes and the plates and the food was more important than Jesus they avoid their own needs here’s their fear the two fears being unworthy look I don’t know what happened to you when you were a kid let me just say this we’re all tweaked none of our parents are perfect none of our parents are broke either not perfect guys I told my kids first ten counseling sessions on me on me I did some things when my kids were little like my girls have some unhealthy sense of fear and I contributed to that I made my girls when they were little watch Lord of the Rings I’m not proud of it my girls sometimes they share stories I’m like you know girls there are inside family stories and there are outside family stories I did this to my girls I thought it was funny I don’t know what was wrong with me I’m tweaked I would literally go into their bedroom flip off the lights and say this my precious my precious cuz that’s normal that’s what a healthy loving father does I can and they’re like they tell that story I’m a queen can we not tell that story I know I’m fairly certain you know that’s abuse right it’s abuse like at the time it seems so funny and now I’m like oh my gosh what is wrong with me what’s the underlying emotion of the two okay so let me just say this we’ll talk more about this as I kind of baptize you slowly into this but there are nine personality types but there’s really three underlying emotions so the ones last week you’re led by your gut remember I said you were born with an internal compass or rudder you know right from wrong you don’t even know why you just know why you just know you know what’s right you know what’s wrong it’s just inside you the twos the threes and the fours we’re led by our hearts and it doesn’t mean that we’re superior it just means we’re more emotional so know this if you married a two three or four you’re in for it you’re in for it okay my wife’s a six never cries tell her all the time you need to leak more I tell her all the time I cry all the time cuz I’m sensitive my kids when we watch sad movies they don’t watch the movie they watched dad’s face he’s great the owner Allah the underlying emotion is shame I don’t know what happened to you when you were a kid but something happened inside you where you felt like the only time you’re good is when you covered your shame with helping let me say this to you if you’re a – you can’t outwork your shame only Jesus can here’s one of the tragedies of modern pop psychology in our culture for the last 40 years in America we’ve been teaching kids they should never be ashamed I don’t know if you know this but sometimes you should feel shame sometimes wait for it this is deep you should feel bad you should sometimes so what the modern world has said you should never feel bad and so we’ve pretended shame isn’t real and look what’s happening to our young people as a church we need to readily accept shame because it’s what sin brings we need to accept our shame and we need to understand this – you can’t outwork your shame only Jesus can you have to take your shame to the cross you have to take your shame to the cross if you’re – you want to clean it there’s blood all over and I gotta make sure it’s nice yeah why is that blood there to cover your shame and here’s what the – Zara shamed of they’re ashamed of having needs if I was really who I was supposed to be I wouldn’t need anything if God didn’t think you needed anything he wouldn’t have created others the Apostle Paul says this listen me toos and my god Paul says will supply all of your needs twos according to his riches and glory that is in Christ Jesus God wants you to have needs it’s okay to have needs it’s okay to need people it’s okay to need help God didn’t call you to be Superman that’s why he made Jesus and by the way even Jesus said things like this I thirst I need you to pray for me I’m hungry I need rest even Jesus had needs it’s okay it’s okay so how a – needs to be real here’s what I want you to start – Zwigoff it’s easy to look at Martha and see where she’s whacked it’s hard to look at yourself let me just affirm this in twos it’s good to serve God in family man if you have a – and your family you’re blessed they serve you they take care of you your world operates wonderfully because of them and you need to praise God for that never tell a – to stop serving what we want to change is not their serving we want to change why they serve we don’t want them to serve to try to cover up for something that’s missing we want them to serve just because they enjoy and it glorifies God and it celebrates God’s heart for service and that’s good because listen me choose if you serve with the right heart pride will not bring you down but when you serve with the wrong heart what you do is you look around at the let rest of us lazy bums and you start judging all of us and that’s what you do when you come to church well look at all these people who aren’t serving you go find a one and you gossip about the rest of us the ones like yep they should they should they should they should they should or if you’re a high one – you just sit by yourself and talk to yourself Romans never be lazy what work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically look if you scored like zero and the two that doesn’t mean you get a pass you got to serve you got to serve you’ve got to we need you to serve your command sir you don’t have to pray about it what if your kids in your family treated literally you the way you treat God God’s like I want you to serve the church I want to pray about that ask your kids we need you to help out and do chores so I’m gonna get together with the kids at school and we’re gonna pray about whether or not need to participate in the chores of the family how many parents go lay hands on their children right amen we have a little prayer service today you may not make it never be lazy but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically listen to me it’s a privilege to serve God it’s a privilege I’m amazed that he invites us to participate at all look at how we screw everything up so it’s good to serve God in my family you’re gonna hate this twos but I must also spend time with God let me tell you what spending time with God is not twos that’s not reorganizing your Bibles it’s not dusting off your Bibles oh my Bible is the cleanest book in the house did you read it well no but it’s clean right the two will go to read the Bible but see all the laundry that needs to be picked up on the way to the Bible and before you know it’s four hours later what happened no time with God that’s what happened you can so busy yourself and do you know why you don’t want to stop do you know why you don’t want to be alone because it’s you and your shame you and your feelings which is a great time to hang out with God you know I got I feel like crap SEC I know I’ve been waiting for you to come God want you to be honest right well my kids are a little they’d always lie about when they poop their pants do you poop No no I don’t know what that smell is anybody’s kids lie about pooping you own poop no you’re – you’re like lord I feel crap he’s like I know we smell it up here come here come here I must also spend time with God and my family listen to me dad’s if you’re a – that’s great you do all your own yard work yeah you but maybe what your kids need on Saturday is not a mowed lawn maybe they need you see twos will busy themselves with all kinds of things that get in the way of relationship twos God didn’t just design you for service he designed you for relationship and I know it’s scary I know but it’s scary for all of us write this down twos I got a watch how my pride affects the way I see myself and others let me just be clear about pride you’re not going to deal with it today and never again you’re gonna deal with it every day for the rest of your life let me tell you when you’re gonna defeat pride when you die when you die and you stand before Jesus and he gives you your glorified body that’s when pride is dead in you until that moment it is with you every single day and here’s the thing you need to be aware of that nasty monster because he will devour you Obadiah you have been deceived by what your own pride are we deceived by other people’s arrogance we can read everybody else’s arrogance we can see everybody else’s pride man I don’t like that person he is so prideful he is so arrogant we cannot see our own pride we can’t and it creeps in in weird ways Jesus didn’t just come to save you from the wrong things you do in your life he came to save you from the right things you do in your life for the wrong reasons that’s what the Bible means when it says Eve on our best day our filthy rags before the Lord people can do the right things with horrible motives right check your motives why am i doing what I’m doing next you got to learn to be real with others now you’re gonna hate me for these write them down please come back next week listen to me once you have to declare what does it mean say out loud declare declare I have needs and that’s okay listen me toos if you become really unhealthy you’ll become codependent and you won’t even exist anymore you will simply exist to serve someone else and that is let me tell you let me tell you what codependents do they worship someone other than God ladies if you become codependent you are worshiping your husband and not God and that’s a sin if you worship your children and not God you are codependent and that’s a sin you have to declare that you have needs you do not exist to serve your children to serve your husband you exist for the glory of God and for him you were made for him and you must declare that I have needs I can’t do it all you can’t and when you try you make it miserable to be around you so stop stop take a break relax the laundry will always be there I have spoken we’ll be there call me a prophet there will be laundry tomorrow the house will be dirty tomorrow it will happen dust will come again sometimes you need to take a break and here’s the thing as a – you feel guilty who has shame take it to the cross Lissa me toos why is it that you feel guilty about obeying the commandment six days you shall work one day yet don’t thus saith the Lord Martha I have to declare that I have needs I can’t do it all I can’t do it all last night we were at dinner with some friends from our church and one of the pastors he’s a young pastor and he’s still learning seeing his wife she’s got a baby on one arm a plate on another arm and a four-year-old on this leg and she’s trying to make tacos I look at him hey buddy we got a problem over here on aisle 2 he’s like oh I didn’t see that I said I know get over here and help he works for me he had to do it but you know what she is she’s a – I can do everything I can’t have a baby on this arm I can have a taco plate in this hand I can have a four year old wrestling my leg in this arm and I can do it no you can’t no you can’t it’s okay moms to say can you hold my kids so I can eat so I can eat I remember I came home from work one time mom’s my kids are standing at the bathroom door banging my wife is just in there she locked herself in prison so she could have a moment I mean we need to pray for a month you can’t even pee alone leave her alone I told my kids you are not allowed to speak to your mother go away okay twos learn to ask for help it’s okay it hurts oh no it would be just so easy if I helped you and this is hard listen to me – you have to learn to confess your sin of pride because people won’t see it because they’re gonna think you’re better than everybody else oh you’re always serving you’re always apart you’re always at church you’re always at the kids school you’re always at the plays yeah and you’re a judge and everybody else and you’re self-righteous and prideful and that sin that’s in you is the devil what made the devil who he is don’t be the devil so learn to confess it learn to say this man my pride got the best of me this week and thank God your Corsten is pride because one of these is gonna be lust and that’s always creepy and small-group yeah my lust is really out of control this week everybody’s like next be real with God Who I am comes from God’s love not from what I do listen me God does not love me because I’m a pastor he loves me because I’m his son and you are his son and you are his daughter if you are in Christ Jesus you’re a son of a king you’re a daughter of the king next God will help if I would ask Psalms 80-65 Oh Lord you are so good so ready to forgive so full of unfailing love for all who ask listen to me God’s not going to answer the prayer you don’t pray don’t say it again I don’t think you guys over here got that God is not going to answer the prayer you don’t pray we worship a God who answers asked prayers so I’m gonna add a little thing this week I didn’t do it last week for the ones if you’re one I’m sorry I’m not perfect but this actually came from someone in our church on the debrief who said this I’m married to a one I don’t know how to love her but marry 30 years this is why the inia Graham in real with self is so important because you can be married to a person in desperate love a person and not know how so I want to talk in the debrief this week more deeply about how to love the one but today we’re gonna start with the two but thank you for your questions your questions make our church better so how do you love it to number one notice them and thank them for their service when you pick up your kids would you think the teachers you know what you dropped off some of you didn’t even come for God today you came for a break man if I was atheists I’d go to church every week free child care take him wait a minute these people have to love my kid go it’s a commandment number two this is gonna kill them they’re gonna hate you for this but do it become an Enneagram ninja have them name one thing you can do for them and watch them squirm can I do a dish can I wash a cup can I take out a piece of trash they’re not gonna want you to do it do you know why they’re not real with themselves they believe they can do it all and that’s a lie next invite them over here’s what’s important when you don’t need something done listen to me we use twos we do and that’s not right so whenever we need something done in our house when my wife needs a man project we have to call a man I just told my wife this so whenever she says I need a honey do I have to call Tim he’s the honey a wife needs a honey done so I need you Tim to come over it involves screws hammers man work I need you to come over here’s the thing as Tim will always come over and one of these I had to say I had to tell Tim I said Tim you’re my buddy I love you I care for you I said you can come over any time for no reason you can come to my house for anything and we can just sit and have a beer and be men which is not actually true because I’m allergic gluten because God is hilarious so Tim you can have a beer and I will watch you drink a beer and I will have a Lacroix and we will have a very manly conversation about things that I don’t understand you freaked him out man he’s like we’re just gonna sit yeah well you’ll drink beer I’ll sit watch you drink beer but I said you don’t need to do a thing because Tim needs to know that he matters not what he does he matters do you know he does and so do you twos so do you okay you really want to mess with it to do this this is so good ask them to stop and tell you how their time with God and their family is gone just-just-just say and watch them squirm tell me about your time with God this week tell me about your time with your kids so we got your time of your husband again why is it to afraid of sitting with people because of shame I’m not good enough and so they cover I’m not good enough with let me help you let me help let me help let me help let me help let me help that’s not being real and if you want to begin to be real you’ve got to start to share listen me to show this man my shame is really out of control this week it’s really affecting me it’s tiring to be a to listen to me Christianity is not a do religion it’s spelled done do ng Jesus already did it he already did it dressed in the grace of Jesus rest rest let’s pray together church Heavenly Father we just love you so much we love your grace so much and God we love the twos we love to help us in our church there’s no church without them man most of our families want to unravel and fall apart without the twos God we’re grateful for people who want to help out and be a part but God helped them to know that it’s not just their service that we love but it’s actually them that we love and it’s you love them and you care about them God that they matter more to you than their service God that what you want ultimately is you want the martha’s in this church to sit down with Mary and hear your word God because the truth is Martha matters just as much to you as Mary lord help us to be more like Mary and to sit in your presence and God help us to bring you our shame we pray this in Jesus name Amen love you sandals god bless

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