Enneagram #5 The Observer | Sandals Church

(upbeat music) – Happy Mother’s Day weekend, Sandals Church. (congregation clapping and cheering) Want to say hi to all of our moms. We love you, we thank you, we wouldn’t be here, literally, without you. So thank you so much. Hey, moms, we’re in the best series ever for Mother’s Day. You can learn how to understand those crazy kids you had or that crazy man you married or whoever it is in your life, or maybe even understand yourself. It’s an amazing, amazing series. I love what God is doing and the Bible says that we are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We’re to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, and I think loving ourselves is probably the hardest thing we do, understanding that we’re not just a total mess, but there’s actually beautiful things in our lives that reflect the glory of God. And that’s what I want to say to you is for so many of us, we’re so focused on what’s wrong in our life we’re not listening to God and what He has to say about what’s right.

And so there’s some beautiful things even mom’s about your parenting, even about your kids, there are some things that are right and reflect the glory of God. So let’s begin with a word of prayer and ask God to bless our minds as we talk about the Observer who lives in their mind. So let’s pray, heavenly Father, we pray in the name of Jesus, God that you would speak to us. First and foremost God, I want every person to hear that they are loved by you, that they are not a mistake, that they were not an accident, God that you knew them before they were ever born, God and you love them and you believe that they are fearfully and wonderfully made in your image. And God I pray in the name of Jesus, you would not only speak to our minds today but you would speak to our hearts, we pray this in Jesus name, amen.

Now I got to warn you, I’m a little bit nervous as to how long this sermon’s gonna take. Usually I kinda have an idea of how long it’s gonna go. I have no idea, so if it feels long, just sit there, what else you gonna do? Okay, so, we’re gonna talk about one of the most famous stories, even if you’ve never been to church, you’ve probably seen the verse at a football game or a basketball game or a baseball game, John 3:16. And it says, for God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, would not perish but have eternal life.

An amazing, amazing verse that takes place at night in a conversation between a brilliant man and the only person who can save mankind, Jesus Christ. I believe that Nicodemus is an Observer and so just know for the last three weeks we’ve been in the heart section of the Enneagram. The 2’s, the 3’s, the 4’s, right. Their underlying issue is how do I feel? How do I feel and for the 2 that’s based upon serving, for the 3 that’s achieving and for the 4, it’s just about feeling, do I feel like I’m making a difference? Do I feel like I’m deep? Do I feel like I have depth? Do I feel creative? This is the biggest shift, so write this in your notes, this is the biggest shift in the Enneagram. So if you’re a 4 and you’re married to a 5 and you feel separate at times, there’s a reason for that, because there’s a gigantic gap. Now don’t be discouraged because often times 4’s and 5’s fall in love.

Why? Opposites attract, right, and then you drive yourself crazy for the rest of your life. But there’s something about that, so the 4 feels deeply, feels more than any other in the heart triad and we’re gonna shift to the 5 who does not live their life based upon their heart, but their head. We are now entering into the head section, where literally the 5, the 6, the 7, they’re in their minds, they’re thinking about the world and they’re processing everything up here.

And so just know that if you’re a 4 and you’re married to a 5, you’re gonna be talking about how you feel and the 5 is gonna be talking about, this is how I think. And often time that creates a gap that feels like it’s insurmountable, like you can’t connect, but don’t believe that, because it’s amazing. And Jesus Christ, is gonna try to get Nicodemus, some of you’ve never read it this way, out of his head and into his heart. And that’s where born again comes from. Nicodemus you cannot think your way into heaven, unless you’re born again, you will never experience the life that God has for you.

So listen to me if you’re 5, God has given you a beautiful mind, an amazing mind, you’re a deep thinker, you are an observer and we love you and appreciate you, but you have to get in contact with your heart. Because despite what you think, listen to me if you’re a 5, you do have emotions, you do have feelings. And how do we know that? ‘Cause some 5’s who are scientists tell us no human being, wait for it 4’s you’re gonna love this, no human being ever makes a decision without emotion. You just can’t see it in the 5.

But it’s there, it’s there, so 5’s trust me, it’s there, the observer, it’s there. You’re not Spock, okay you’re not, you have a heart. You do and it’s there and you are operating that, you need to get in touch with that. Okay, so there was a man named Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader who was a Pharisee. Now this sentence really doesn’t help us out here, because really, in the Greek, what it’s doing is it’s kind of listing like if you had a guest speaker at a college, this person is a PhD, they did this, they did that, here’s all their awards, they won the Nobel Peace Prize. Literally the story begins with this just incredible entry of one of the most amazingly intelligent men on earth at the time.

His name is Nicodemus and he’s world renowned for his intelligence. He’s absolutely brilliant, he is a mind above almost every other mind. So his name is Nicodemus, he’s a Jewish religious leader but he’s not just a leader, he is a Pharisee and he’s one of the leading Pharisee’s and wait for it, for those of you who don’t know your Bible history, he’s also a part of the Sanhedrin. You say, well what does that mean? Imagine an American citizen, who’s a member of the Senate and the Supreme Court, at the same time.

I don’t even know if that’s constitutionally possible I’m not a constitutional scholar. So don’t send me an email, I’m just saying, it would be like that. So he’s a Senator and a Supreme Court Justice, he does both, he is a very, very powerful person and he is brilliant. After a dark evening, one dark evening and I want you to circle that word, because remember when you read the gospel of John, light never means the light’s on and dark never means it’s dark. He’s speaking metaphorically, this is a dark time in Israel’s history and one of the greatest minds of the Jews is missing out on who Jesus is. And let me say this, if you’re an Observer, you can not think you’re way into heaven and many of you will miss heaven by 18 inches.

That’s the distance from your brain to your heart. Depending on your height right? ‘Cause some of the 5’s are gonna be like well, my height is actually 5.11, okay, okay, okay, smart guy, back off. I don’t know the exact distance between your brain and your heart but you get it. I need you to connect with your heart. He came to speak with Jesus, now circle this word, so here’s one of the most educated individuals and accomplished leaders in Israel’s history and he refers to Jesus as what? Pharisee, excuse me as Rabbi. He acknowledges Jesus’s brilliance. He said, “we all know that God has sent you to teach us. “Your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you.” What does the Observer do? The Observer watches the world we live in, they make observations and they note them. We have a word for that nowadays, it’s called a scientist. Right, they observe, they take notes. He says it’s obvious, your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you.

It doesn’t take a genius to see someone raise someone from the dead and you say, well you’re kinda special. Like hopefully, if I raise somebody from the dead you’re gonna go, you know that Matt Brown, he’s special, he’s special, okay. He says your miraculous signs are evidence that God is with you. Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, “unless you are born again, “you cannot see the Kingdom of God.” So here he is, he’s making observations, he’s looking at the world as he understands it and Jesus says you can’t observe your way into heaven.

And this is why so many intellectuals don’t come to faith in Christ. You can be a professor of New Testament, you can teach students about Christianity and miss Jesus. My first class in college, I took New Testament, not my first class, my first semester took New Testament, I’ll never forget the professor wrote on the board, Satan is not real. And I went, idiot. And everybody in class is taking notes, I’m like why you guys taking notes? This guys an idiot. He could tell, you know based upon my face and my inability to hide my 3, right. He says you have a different opinion? I said no but Jesus did. So I’m gonna go with Jesus. I didn’t do too well in that class, but you know, I got through it. So a lot of intellectuals know a lot about the Bible and they know nothing about God.

Let me say that again ’cause you missed it, a lot of intellectuals know a lot about the Bible and they know nothing about God. Because you can’t wrap your mind around God, you’re brain ain’t big enough. And I did say ain’t, write it down, it’s gonna kill you. (laughing) He says, unless you’re born again, you cannot see the Kingdom of God. Something has to happen dramatically in you there has to be a real change for you to get into heaven. You can’t think your way, you can’t earn your way and you can’t buy your way. And what does He say? What an Observer says, “what do you mean?” I have a question, exclaimed Nicodemus. “How can an old man go back into “his mother’s womb and be born again?” He knows that’s impossible, you won’t fit.

It was funnier than that, you can laugh. (laughing) It’s kind of awkward but you can laugh. Jesus replied, “I assure you, “no one can enter the Kingdom of God without “being born of water and Spirit.” What’s He talking about? What happens right before you’re born? Anybody ever experience that? Okay, we’ve all experienced that, you just don’t remember it, but I can tell you because I was there for my first child’s birth. Tammy felt birth pain, she says it’s time to go to the hospital, we panicked, we went there, we went to Kaiser, they said nope, baby’s not cooked yet, you need to go home.

So we were frustrated and Tammy was hungry so we went to Coco’s. We went to Coco’s, Tammy said I need to get up to go to the bathroom, and said oop it happened. Well she didn’t go to the bathroom, do you know what happened? Her water broke, and let me just tell you this young men, it’s not a little water.

(laughing) Note to self, it is not a small amount of water. I had to add a few dollars to our tip and apologize profusely to the management and all the other people eating dinner as my wife is leaking all across the carpet as we try to get her out. (laughing) And she didn’t stop leaking when we left the restaurant, we got into her sister’s van and she was like a hose. (laughing) So when you’re born, the water breaks, and then guess what happens? You come out, you come into the world. Listen to me, unless the spirit is involved in your conversion, you haven’t been born again. It doesn’t matter if you walk forward at a Harvest Crusade, or you get baptized at Sandals, without the Spirit, you just took a walk or you just got wet, but you are not saved. You need something to happen, something actually has to happen, there’s an interaction between you and God where new life begins. He says “humans can reproduce only human life, “but the Spirit gives birth to spiritual life.” To spiritual life, there’s only one person that can get you to God.

Today I noticed for the first time, I’ve driven by this place, literally for the last 20 years I’ve been the pastor here in Riverside. And for 20 years the sign has said palm reader, and they changed their sign and I noticed it. I’m a noticer, I notice everything I have ADD. They changed it from palm reader to spiritual guide. Some of you noticed that, spiritual guide. Let me tell you something, be very, very careful about who you choose for a spiritual guide.

Because if you choose the wrong one, they will not lead you to heaven but straight to hell. Be very, very careful who you believe. And so I want you to notice here, Nicodemus is supposed to be the spiritual guide. Write in your notes, he’s the best we got. He’s the best, he’s the smartest, he can write Hebrew forward and backwards, he knows Greek, he can speak Aramaic, he is brilliant beyond brilliant. And he’s missing it. Jesus says, “but the Holy Spirit “gives birth to spiritual life. “So don’t be surprised when I say, you must be born again.” He says, “the wind blows wherever it wants. “Just as you can hear the wind but can’t tell “where it comes from, or where it’s going, so you can’t,” circle this word if you’re a 5, an Observer.

“You can’t explain how people are born of the Spirit.” what does that mean? And it’s so sad as Christians we argue over how people are saved. Jesus just said don’t, ’cause you’re never gonna fully understand it. I don’t care what the commentary says. There is some interaction between God and us that produces life. And churches fight over what’s God’s part and what’s your part. And we miss out on the experience of the Spirit. “How are these things possible?” What is Nicodemus doing? He’s still observing, he’s still detached, he’s still watching.

Jesus replied, “you are a respected teacher, “and yet you don’t understand these things?” College students, there are some things your professors, wait for it, don’t know. Not enough laughter, too many years since many of you’ve been in college. They’re some things they don’t know. How is it that you’re the best we’ve got? You’re Israel’s genius and you’re clueless as to what I’m talking about.

He says, “I assure you, and we tell you what we know “and have seen, and you won’t believe our testimony. “But if you don’t believe me when I tell you “about earthly things, how can you possibly believe me “if I tell you about heavenly things? “No one has ever gone to heaven and returned. “But the Son of Man has come down from” where? “Down from heaven.” Why is Jesus a reliable guide? Because He’s taking you to where He’s from. Everybody else is just guessing. He’s a reliable guide, He says how can you possibly believe when I tell you about heavenly things? No one’s ever gone to heaven and returned. But the Son of Man has come down from heaven. “And as Moses lifted, up the bronze snake “on a pole in the wilderness, so the Son of Man “must be lifted up, so that everyone “who believes in him will have eternal life. “For this is how God loved the world, “He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone “who believes in him will not perish but live forever.” That’s the gospel.

How do you get there from here? It’s a heart issue, you can’t think your way. Observers are amazing, they’re incredible, often times they’re geniuses. The Observer reflects, write this down, God’s wisdom. God’s wisdom. Look the reality is they’re probably smarter than the rest of us. Just accept it, just own it. It’s okay, it’s okay, if you’re a 5, I’m dumber than you. But I’m still on stage ’cause I’m a 3. (laughing) And if you’re a 5, you go, that’s what I’ve observed. (laughing) And I’m wondering why you are on stage. So let’s talk about the basic motivation, what drives the Observer? They want to gain knowledge. Why is Nicodemus talking to Jesus? ‘Cause he can’t wrap his mind around Him and who can? Who can? Who steals a lunch from a little boy and feeds 5000 people? Who does that? Jesus, it doesn’t make any sense.

Who walks on water? Try it, that’s my favorite thing, watching people on Instagram trying to do it. No one does it, they all fall into the water, it’s hilarious. They’re trying to gain knowledge, they’re trying to understand. Man if you’re raising a little 5, guess what they’re favorite question is gonna be? Why? Why? And you’re like, oh my gosh, he’s four and smarter than all of us. You’re raising a little Einstein just get out of the way and watch him go. They want to gain knowledge, they want to know why. The rest of us, are like, we don’t, we don’t care. (laughing) I don’t care how the plane works, I just want it to work.

By the way, 5’s make great pilots, great pilots. You want a 5 at the wheel when that thing ain’t working. And we’ll talk about why. They want to gain knowledge, they want to know, they want to know, they ask big questions. Why are things this way? And it’s that question why that led to, seminaries, which led to universities, which led to science. It’s one of the saddest things in modern day is we give Christianity no questions, or excuse me, no credit, but the reality is, is was great Christians who asked great questions, that led to our great schools.

That transformed human life. They wanted to know, why do things work the way they do? Next, they want to uncover truth. Okay, don’t ever take a 5 to a magic show. Oh I know how he did it, I know exactly how he did it. Shut up, I want to believe. (laughing) I love taking my wife to magic shows, ’cause she like thinks the guy’s Jesus. But it makes me a little uncomfortable ’cause my wife’s cute and the magicians always notice that. I’m like, hey buddy, I’m gonna make you disappear. (laughing) But they want to uncover truth. Great detectives, right? How did this happen? How do I figure out who committed the crime? They’re fantastic. What do they want to avoid? Just absolutely at all costs they must avoid incompetence. You want to throw a 5 off, pop quiz! They’re gonna pop you.

They want to be ready, they want to be prepared, they want to know when the test is, when the paper’s due, and you had better stick to the syllabus. They want to avoid incompetence, let me say this, don’t ever embarrass a 5, they don’t like it. You want them to come out of their shell, don’t embarrass them, don’t do it, they don’t want that. What will happen is they will retreat further and further back. And here’s the thing is, Observers, 5’s, they almost know everything. So guess what the rest of us are trying to do? Find when they’re wrong. Ha ha ha ha, you don’t know everything! Right, they’re never coming over for game night at your house.

They didn’t want to come in the first place. So when healthy, when an Observer’s healthy, here’s the beauty, they remain calm and focused in decisions and processing. That’s why you want a 5 flying the plane. Both engines have gone bad, you don’t me, I’m going, we’re gonna die, we’re gonna die! A 5 is like, we lost engine one, we lost engine two, tower we’re gonna need an emergency landing, we’re gonna be descending at a speed of 30,000 feet per second, I’m gonna need you to have ambulance and fire engines ready as we land. Right, you ever listen to Captain Sully? You ever listen to that? I’d be freaking, we’re dying! Do you remember what he said? You’re gonna find us in the Hudson. What? (laughing) Emergency room doctors, you want them to be 5’s. Wow, you’ve lost a left leg, a right arm, and one ear. If that’s a 4 in there, it’s like, oh my gosh you must be hurting so bad, you’re gonna die, oh my gosh. Right? A 3, I’m not operating, this guy’s dead, this is not going on my record. (laughing) The 1, you know shouldn’t have done that. (laughing) Just shouldn’t. It’s why we wear helmets.

(laughing) That was funny. (laughing) They remain calm and focused, right. They’re great, they’re fantastic. They’re incredible, they can remain unemotional so like when you’re small group’s ready to kill each other, the 5’s like, I think we have a problem. You know 4’s are choking each other out. 3’s are looking for group open, I’ll stop with that humor, we’ll move on. Okay if you’re a 4 and you’re married to a 5 here’s why you fell in love with them. ‘Cause they’re very thoughtful. ‘Cause they think a lot, they’re very thoughtful and their knowledge is in multiple areas and it makes them incredibly perceptive. See if you’re a four and you’re married to a 5 the reason is you fell in love with them is they can observe your uniqueness and they like it. You’re different and I love that about you. It’s beautiful. They can listen well, they can repeat back to how you feel, what you’re thinking, what happened in your life.

Next, when healthy they’re insightful and observant, desiring for the world to be less chaotic and more organized. When a plane crashes who do you want? 5’s, what went wrong? I don’t know but please figure it out, ’cause I’m freaking out, got a lot of 4. They’re insightful, they’re observant. Here’s the shift, when they become unhealthy, and just so you know, we’re all unhealthy. They shift from being observant, to detached. So if you’re raising a kid and you think they’re a 5, you really, really gotta watch video games, computers, and even books, because your child will disappear. Because books and computers, they make sense, people don’t. People are erratic and weird and bizarre. And they can retreat deeper into themselves, into their head, and you’ve got to make sure that you love them and care for them but you call them out and say we need you to be with us.

Even if it’s for five minutes, ’cause they want to eat their meal in their room. And they don’t understand why you guys want to interact while you eat, it’s inefficient. And you can’t read while you do that. Next, a 5 when unhealthy, does not engage emotionally or socially in healthy ways. Okay, so when you’re a 5 you’ll go to the party, stand in the corner, watch everyone. But when you become unhealthy, you’re not going. You’re not gonna go anywhere, and you retreat into yourself. So the Observer needs to avoid incompetence. Why is Nicodemus there? Because he doesn’t get it, I don’t understand Jesus why I don’t see what everyone else is seeing. Can you explain that to me? They need to avoid incompetence because it can cause them to withdraw completely from the world around them. Have you noticed people are incompetent? No laughter? You don’t get out much. You do not get out much. One of my favorite conversations ever was at a fast food restaurant, trying to order a medium milkshake. She said what would you like sir? I said I would like a medium milkshake.

She said, I’m sorry sir, they don’t come in medium. Oh. She says, yes we only have one size. I said, just out of curiosity, what size cup would that one size milkshake come in? (laughing) It would be a medium sir. (laughing) Just get me the milkshake. That really happened, that’s a true story. You might have to work on this, if you’re an Observer, ’cause you’re not gonna like your core sin. Which who likes there’s? Yay, envy, liar, anger, right, pride. So just know, they all stink. Your core sin is greed. Ooh, that sits well. What do I mean by that? Write this down, stinginess. See what the 5 does, is they withhold. They withhold, what do they hold? First and foremost their time.

So don’t waste it. They withhold their time, they’re not gonna spend time with you. So if you’re a dad or a mom and you’re a 5, you don’t have time for the kids, you’re providing for their life. And you need time to study, time to grow, time to learn, and you retreat to yourself so you don’t share time, you’re greedy with your time. If you’re a 5, you’re gonna have a really hard time serving at the church. It’s gonna be hard for you. It’s gonna be difficult for you to volunteer.

Why? You’re gonna be surrounded by incompetence, it’s Sandals. (laughing) Next, man if you love someone that’s a 5, they’re gonna be greedy or stingy with their emotions, they hold it in, they do have a heart, it does beat, but sharing that stuff is scary and often times if you love this person, it’s like loving them and they’re on the other side of the glass. And so they let you in slowly. So if you’re a 5, you have to be generous with your time and generous with your emotions.

You have to share them, right. I love you, you can’t say, well I said it once eight years ago, that should be sufficient. That’s not sufficient. Continue to share that. Next with your knowledge. Did you know that 5’s actually have a hard time sharing what they know? Because it’s precious to them, it’s something they’ve learned, it’s something they’ve attained. And let me tell you something, if you are an Observer, you make a great teacher, a great professor because you can make us all better.

You can share what you know, you can share what you’ve learned, especially if you’re a Christian, you can teach people about God. Because you understand how it works together because you’ve studied it. Let me just say this if you’re a 5, what good is studying the Bible from front to back if you never share it with anyone? It’s not just for you. It’s meant to be shared. Next, money, right, you earned it, you hold it, often times Observers, 5’s are great savers. They’re stingy with it. You calculate the tithe, or your tip or whatever it is, you have a hard time just being generous and just blessing somebody with something.

You’ve got to learn to be generous. A healthy 5, the Observer, is always, circle that word, always, this never ends, it never stops. I don’t know if you guys realize this but growth doesn’t stop till you die. Till you die, that’s when God’s done with you, the day you die, you’re in heaven, you can stop growing. God’s gonna transform you, God’s gonna change you, God’s gonna complete you, but until that time you gotta keep growing. A healthy 5 is always in pursuit of generosity. This is amazing, we don’t know much about Nicodemus, he’s only mentioned a couple of times. The first time is John chapter 3, where he sneaks in to have a conversation with Jesus in the middle of the night. And he’s trying to understand Jesus.

The second time is in John 7, when they’re trying to kill Him and Nicodemus observes that Jesus is not getting a fair trial. And he speaks up for Jesus. We don’t know, if he became a believer, but we know this, when Jesus Christ was crucified, and his body was taken off the cross. The tomb was provided by a man by the name of Joseph of Arimathea and the funeral expenses were paid for by Nicodemus. John 19:39-40, “with him came Nicodemus, “the man who had come to Jesus at night. “He brought about 75 pounds of perfumed ointment “made from myrrh and aloes.” I tried this week to figure out, how on earth to calculate the value of the oils and myrrh that Nicodemus brought. I literally saw scholars argue anywhere between 50,000 American dollars and a half a million dollars, Nicodemus spent, burying Jesus.

Why? I believe eventually Jesus got from his head to his heart and he was transformed and he was generous to Jesus. Generous. Some of you look at that and you’re like, I can go buy some aloe at CVS. Okay, think more essential oils guys, right. Think about how many thousands of dollars that is for an ounce. 75 pounds, at a time when oils were far more precious than they are today. Literally, one scholar said, the cost may have been in the millions, to bury a dead guy. Why? Because Jesus got from his head to his heart and he transformed his life. And he became generous with his time. On the eve of Passover, where is Nicodemus? Burying Jesus. With his emotions, he expresses grief with Joseph of Arimathea on the eve of Passover. With his knowledge, he knows what to do, he knows, wait for it, how a king should be buried. Jesus is buried as a king, 75 pounds of rare oil.

Which makes the resurrection all that more amazing. Next he was generous with his money, right. He paid for it, he paid for it. “Following Jewish burial custom, they wrapped Jesus’ body “with the spices in long sheets of linen cloth.” So here’s how the 5 needs to be real. How do you need to be real with yourself if you’re the Observer? I need to get out of my head and in touch with my feelings. If you love a 5, here’s the question. I hear what you’re saying, tell me how that makes you feel? The 5 will give you the facts, here’s the budget, here’s where we’re going, here’s our retirement, here’s my job, here are the pros, here are the cons, here’s what it says on Wikipedia, and that’s great. How does that make you feel? And invite them to talk about how they feel and make it a safe place. The 5 needs to get out of their head and in touch with their feelings, with my feelings.

Here’s how the 5 needs to be real with others. I want to encourage you to memorize this verse, and if you’re a 5, I’m sure you will. Proverbs 18:1, he who separates himself seeks his what? Own desire, nowhere in the Bible does God call you to live for yourself, He calls you to die to yourself. He who separates himself seeks his own desire, he quarrels against all, wait for it observers, sound wisdom, you get dumber on your own, not smarter, not smarter. And let me just say this, there is no correlation in sociology between IQ and morality. You know what they found? People are not better people when they’re smarter, they’re just better at convincing themselves that what they’re doing isn’t wrong. So if you got smart kid it doesn’t mean they’re gonna be good, it just means it’s gonna be hard to catch them doing wrong. ‘Cause they’re smart, that was funnier than that, you can laugh at that later. My feelings are already hurt, it’s okay. So what does this mean? If you’re an Observer, if you’re a 5, you don’t want to be in small group, there’s dumb people in there.

But they understand life in many ways better than you do. And they can draw out things that you’ll miss, because you will never be who God’s called you to be, by yourself, with your Bible in your backyard. And let me say this 5’s, you cannot worship a God who is community on your own! The prayer of Jesus is not that you would be one with Him by yourself. The prayer of Jesus is that we would be one as God is one. That’s the prayer. So you’ve got to press into community, you’ve got to press into relationship, you’ve got make yourself available for date night, for talking, for relationships, literally for conversation, even if it’s exhausting and everyone is stupid. Press in.

Next, with God, this verse is kind of trippy, it’s actually in reference to women and most 5’s are men, but not all. But it says this, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of truth. You can know everything there is in the Bible and know nothing about God. And how do we know that? Because Jesus stood before Pharisees and He said, you think that the Bible leads to salvation, when everything in it is about me. And you missed it. You need to learn, listen to me if you’re a 5, connect with God in worship, I get it, it’s scary, song’s kinda mushy, it’s a little emotional, it’s fine, embrace it, connect with God with your heart. Connect with God with your emotions, not every song, and not every sermon needs to be dissected. Sometimes you just need to feel what God has to say. So how do you love a 5? This is probably the most important thing you got to acknowledge their need for personal space and time, it’s not that they hate you, it’s just that they love time with themselves.

I got a friend of mine, he’s a 5 man, he’s gotta deal with his wife, literally he gets in his Jeep, drives out to the desert by himself. I could do that for about 45 seconds. I literally would go insane, I would go insane. I’m not going to the desert by myself. I’m not doing that, 5 man, they’re like, that sounds great, I never thought of that, I’ll get a Jeep. (laughing) I’m gonna get a Jeep this week. I used to have a friend named Jack, literally he got two weeks vacation a year, two weeks, this was back in the 50’s. One week he spent with his kids, one week a year he spent by himself. I was like, my wife would kill me. But he did it, but it was the 50’s.

Acknowledge their need for personal space and time. If you have a kid that’s a 5, they’re gonna need their own time. Especially if they share a room, you gotta give them their own time and their own space. Here’s what you need to do, express how much it means to you, when they engage. Don’t do this, well it’s about time. Oh look at who smarty-pants decided to join us for fun and family night. You just embarrassed him you just shamed him. Guess what they’re gonna do? They’re not coming back. Encourage them when they do engage, tell them how much it means, they’re smart, they’ll figure it out. Thank you so much for joining us, it means so much when you come. I know groups exhaust you, I know parties wear you out, it means so much that you’re here, thank you, thank you. And let me say this, if you’re married to a 5, don’t throw big parties, have parties with smaller groups. Because 5’s come alive the smaller the group. If you got a thousand people, the 5’s over in the corner going, when is this over? Look at all these incompetent people.

(laughing) Number three, do not criticize how they have fun. It’s hard to tell, but it is happening. My good friend Tom is a 5, this is what he told me, when I buy a new car, I sit in the car and I read the entire owner’s manual from front to back! (laughing) Let me just tell you, you can buy any car I have ever purchased, I can not guarantee you the condition of the car, I can guarantee the condition of the owner’s manual, it has never been opened, it is precisely the way it was the moment I bought the car. (laughing) Because call me crazy, when I buy a new car, I want to drive it. (laughing) That’s what he said, I love sitting in my new car and reading every page of all this amazing information. There are things in my car that I will never know what it does. You can ask, what’s that button do? I don’t know. (laughing) I don’t know. I’m not kidding you, I don’t know, I got like there’s 18 buttons in my car, I don’t know, don’t press it, we might die.

(laughing) I don’t know. I got a new car it makes sounds, my kids are like, what’s that mean? I don’t know, I don’t know. So don’t criticize the way they have fun. Man they like to geek out, they want to, okay if you’re gonna go on a vacation, a 5 is gonna want to know every single thing about every town, the history of that town, who died, who got killed, who got married there, what happened? And you’re just like, I just wanted to go to the pier. But they’re gonna geek out on that stuff, oh my gosh, this post is 1000 years old, it was first constructed by… Dang, I thought it was just a pier. So don’t criticize how they have fun. They’re just different, it’s fine. They’re smart, thank God people like doing that.

Next, utilize their knowledge and wisdom. If you’re dumb, the greatest gift you could give to yourself is figuring that out. (laughing) And become friends with a 5. How’s that work? I don’t know, he knows. (laughing) Where you going? I don’t know, but he’s planned an amazing vacation, it’s gonna be fantastic, there’s gonna be old stuff there. (laughing) What airline you going through? I don’t know, he’s picking. He’s got a graph and a chart and computer program at his home to find the cheapest flight on earth. It’s pretty good. They’re awesome, they’re awesome, and if you’re like me and you talk a lot, they’re great friends because they have room for the air that comes out of your mouth. (laughing) Do you know what exhausts me? Someone like me. This guy’s like me, this is not happening anymore. Where’s a 5, I need a 5. It’s great, ’cause if you want a 5 to talk, you have to be very specific, I need you to speak now. I have a question, and it is not, you know, right, you get it. They’re awesome, they’re amazing, they’re incredible, incredible people, they’re brilliant.

And you need them in your small group ’cause when they’re super quiet in your small group what it means is you guys just started a cult and you need to ask him, have we gone off the rails theologically? They’re like yes, eight weeks ago. (laughing) I’ve been crafting a letter to the church. How to pray for the 5. Listen I want to challenge you 5’s to pray this this week, God, help me to connect my heart to yours.

Help me to feel more deeply and to embrace the mystery of who you are. You’re never going to be able to fully understand God. Help me to have grace for people who are incompetent and change my heart on community groups. (laughing) It’s what you need to do, here we go, I’m in community group. Listen, we need you 5’s, we need you.

God has given you a beautiful mind, but you have to share it with us otherwise we don’t get to be blessed by it. Let’s pray together, heavenly Father I thank you so much for just today Lord. And the awesome, incredible gift of the Observer, we’re so thankful Lord for the way they see the world, for the way that they operate, and the way they can help us connect with you intellectually and they can draw out in us, thoughts that we never knew we even had.

So Lord bless us, we encourage the 5’s to join with us in community and to participate in the chaos of relationship. We pray this in Jesus name, amen. .

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